Hugh got his report card last week. They don’t call it that, of course. It’s called a “Fall Assessment,” but you know exactly what it is when it comes in a sealed envelope of seriousness with initials on the corner. (Because make no mistake, mommy WOULD glance into the other caterpillars’ boxes; just to see, for example, what Jemma scored on “demonstrates empathy.”)

There are also no grades, per se, on this not-a-report-card, just an assessment. Instead, there is N (Not Yet Observed), D (Developing), and C (Consistently Demonstrates). Now, come on, you tell me which is A, B, and C. We’re not dummies. (C, D, N).

Hugh received top marks in 3 out of 21 areas. Those were: plays with others; learning to be a member of a group; and fine motor skills. In other words, he plays well with children while holding a pea in his hand.

He received B’s in the following areas: gross motor skills; understands how objects can be used; and sustains attention. The rest of the categories, from “manages own feelings” to “uses personal care skills” were “Not Yet Observed.”

His teacher comments included, “loves to play with a group of children!” and “Hugh hasn’t learned self soothing yet” and “learning to sit still in circle time” and “has trouble adjusting to new people.” I take issue with the last statement because from what I observe, Hugh does great with new people. On Sunday, for example, I went to see a play in Columbia and left him for three hours with total strangers (neighbors of a friend), and they said he never even made a fussy sound, just followed around their 6 year-old son like a puppy dog and smiled.

The self-soothing part I’d have to agree with – partly our fault for not letting him CIO (cry-it-out in mommy-lingo). But these folks at day care are professionals, and he’s getting there I’m sure. The doesn’t-sit-still-in-circle-time I can see as well; he hardly ever sits still, not even when he was in the womb.

Tasha refused to even look at his report card, saying you can’t assess a 10 month-old, and what does it matter anyway? (I know, she talks like a crazy woman.)

All in all, it wasn’t a bad first report card. Plenty of 40 year-olds I know can’t “Regulate own behavior” or “Use personal care skills.” Besides, the prenatal vitamins I took were recalled, so there’s no telling what we’ve got in store for us.


One caterpillar won't sit still (far right).